Running Past Those Red Flags
You meet the one who has come to your rescue. Someone who loves you and you can love them back. They compliment you all day, sending love texts and already proclaiming that you are the one they are ready to walk down the aisle with. Your stomach is full of butterflies, and you can't stop thinking about them all day. But wait a minute. It has only been 3 days, maybe even a week, and they can't stop telling you how much they love you. But nothing is really wrong with this, right? I mean, you don't know too much about this person other than their name. You never met the family; you don't know the background. All you know is that they make you feel good. Feel good. Feel loved, important, and the only one in the world. And you wound up exchanging body fluids within a few days of this whirlwind affair.
Others around you tried to tell you to slow down and take your time. But you only grew offensive and defensive. Your "perfect lover" told you that no one wants you to be happy and it's just you and them against the world. Forget about everyone else; you have each other, right?
I'm sure many of you can probably identify with the above scenario in one way or another. When we have thrown caution to the wind to have that fairytale love of our lives. But it came with a steep cost. You are here because it almost cost you your life, one way or another.
Red flags were flying everywhere, but they were ignored. The gaslighting (spell work) that was done to cause your mind to be drunk and not sober. The red flags of the following:
Overbearing and continual compliments and acts of service from day one (gaslighting).
Ready to get married within a few days to a week.
Moving to cohabit quickly against your beliefs or reservations
Focused on engaging in sexual activity
No respect of boundaries (such as pushing you to move forward quickly, add name to bank accounts, give them the key to your house or car after you have verbalized hesitation)
Talked negatively about exes and even claim to hate them
Always blaming exes for the ending of relationships (never taking accountability)
You are always financing everything from outings to gas, food, etc., or they are asking for repetitive loans.
You have not met or engaged in authentic conversations with family, friends, or acquaintances (it's as if their circle is secretive)
This is not a complete list of red flags but just a few things that occur when narcissists are up to their old tricks to reel you in, and as my sociopathic narc ex would say, "Hook ya, and you're my property for life." But the question is, why didn't we see the red flags, or, if we are going to keep it totally honest, why did we ignore most of them? I'm glad you asked. They were ignored because these sons of Belial (includes women too) fed the idolatrous side of us. The part of us that desired to feel adored and worshipped because of past traumas and emotional wounds. The things that made us feel small, unseen, unheard, and unwanted. The rejection from a parent, ex, family member(s), church, or school peers. Whatever left a void in our soul was screaming to be filled. Satisfied. And that decrepit son or daughter of the devil smelled it, sensed it, saw it, and took advantage to gain a fresh supply.
In fact, a passage in Proverbs 2 provides a method for avoiding idolatrous, time-wasting, soul-degrading relationships by using wisdom, knowledge, and understanding—qualities necessary to walk a successful life in Yah—as well as discretion (discernment). Look at this:
Proverbs 2:10-16
10 When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
11 Discretion will preserve you;
Understanding will keep you,
12 To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things,
13 From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness;
14 Who rejoice in doing evil,
And delight in the perversity of the wicked;
15 Whose ways are crooked,
And who are devious in their paths;
16 To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words,
The answer to safety and prevention lies in the word of Yah. But the only way to activate it in our lives is to apply the word. And we can only apply what we understand. And application comes by way of obedience. We must humble ourselves before Christ and bring all of our wounds to Him. Allow Him to bind them up and seek His healing. Search for the truth about your life and who He has ordained you to be. Come out from self-worship and worship of things and/or others. Drop your idols, destroy them, and come worship the one and only true Yah. That is when your eyes will begin to open in the light as you walk this journey to healing and wholeness step by step, day by day. When your heart is set on Yah, and you choose to fellowship with Him and read His love letter (the Word), the wounds will heal, traumas will be released, and you'll finally experience what true love really is. Once you truly acknowledge, receive, and accept His gift, you will reject the rotten, wormy fruit demonic individuals try to serve you as a delicacy. You know the difference now, and you are able to clearly discern between a hard rock and a gem.
BBHM
